Emotional States
by ChiefPam
Summary: Vincent is a super-soldier, intent on a mission. Catherine Chandler says she loves him, and that he loves her. He can tell they have a history, but he was created to make war, not love. But he just can't stay away from her. My version of season 2, breaking from canon after Kidnapped. Spoilers! **Chapter 6 is up, and features JT, because Vincent needs a friend & BATB needs more JT.
1. Distraction

**Distraction**

by ChiefPam

* * *

_A/N Spoilers up until 2x01, "Who Am I?". This is my attempt to get inside Vincent's head. Which is hard to do when he's holding so many secrets. But there were some things I wanted to explore. Intended to be in canon. Previously published separately as a one-shot, but this thing grew._

* * *

Zhao is dead. That's good. My mission can continue. But I can't concentrate on it right now. My mind won't let go of her.

Catherine Chandler.

There's something about the sound of her name; her name means something to me. Except it doesn't. And I know, I was told she's no one I need to worry about. That she's a distraction, which I can't afford right now. I obey orders. But… my CO seemed to know the name. Hard to say, through the distortion effects, but there was no moment of thought, no requests that I repeat the name. I think he recognized it.

Or maybe he just really didn't care about anything but the mission. Anyone would be a distraction.

And the mission was advanced tonight. I should be pleased about that, but I don't feel much of anything. I try to avoid feelings. Feelings are a distraction, they get in the way of my mission, my orders. A week ago, that was perfectly clear and obvious. I had a job to do, and I did it, end of story.

But I keep seeing her face. She looks at me as if I'm the most important thing in her world.

She knows about the beast. When I first saw her, I was transformed. But she recognized me, and called me by name. I was angry that she'd interrupted my kill, and at first, I thought she might be part of Muirfield.

She was scared of me.

Not nearly as scared as she should have been, it occurred to me later. When I'm on the hunt I'm focused on what *is* not analyzing how it should be. She was scared as I was approaching her. Thinking back, I can hear her heart racing. But she wasn't terrified, she wasn't running. She just kept saying my name.

I don't know what would have happened if the other two hadn't shown up. I was angry, and fully in beast mode, but I didn't see her as a threat. She was unexpected, a distraction. But not dangerous to me. If I hadn't been sure then, I was later. Catherine was no threat to me.

Not physically, anyway.

She sure got in the way of my mission. Twice, she kept me from killing my prey. I don't know how she found me, either time.

There's history there. It was clear from her words, her eyes, her reactions. And from what the other guy, JT, had said. What the hell did "borderline epic" mean? It shouldn't matter. I had a job to do, a mission, and that was the only important thing.

I couldn't dismiss her, though. When I'm on the hunt, nothing distracts me. Normally. But there I was, in the lab, ready to kill Zhao – looking forward to it – and she disrupted my concentration, my focus.

My mission should have been paramount. No one was hitting me with tranquilizer darts. She entered that room of her own free will; she took that risk all on her own. I had no responsibility for her. There was no reason I couldn't have finished Zhao.

If it had been any other human being coughing in that laboratory, I would have had no trouble ignoring them. The only reason anyone should have been there was because they were with Muirfield, which I was committed to destroying. They'd have been an unimportant detail, barely worth noticing.

But because it was her – Catherine – I couldn't tune her out. Because she looked at me like I was important. Because she felt important to me. At that moment, in the lab, I had to choose, and instead of finishing my mission, I chose to save her.

That was strange. Even more strange was her reaction afterwards. Normal people would have been freaked out at jumping out a tenth story window. That was exploding. Not her.

She just smiled, not the least bit astonished at my abilities or my actions. She said that was how we'd met – me saving her. Like me saving her was a normal, natural thing, to be expected. I have used my abilities to kill. I don't remember ever using them to rescue, or to protect. But she does.

Her reactions confused me – still confuse me. The way she was smiling at me, it was impossible to leave her there. It was hard to fathom how I could be so important to anyone. I'm a valuable asset, I know that. Zhao said I was a valuable weapon, and he's right. I'm a highly-trained, uniquely equipped super soldier. I can get results.

But Catherine… all she wanted was for me to be there. Even though I'm not who she wants me to be, she still wanted me to be there. So I took her home, allowed her to order me around, and watched as she said impossible things. Fall in love? That's not something I could ever do. Is it? It's not part of the job. A distraction I can't afford. Her absolute certainty, though, was impossible to dismiss.

She was upset about Muirfield, and was willing to help me find Zhao – as if I needed her help. I didn't have any idea how she thought she could help, or why she would want to. She said she trusted me, but I couldn't trust her. She cannot find out who I am now, what I'm doing.

She so clearly cared about me. She wasn't mad at me for failing to perform to her expectations. She was almost in tears because she thought *I* had been hurt. I felt bad about that. She made me feel things, things I don't even recognize. And she asked me to stay with her. I'm not sure why I agreed to that. I'm not even sure why I kissed her, but with her that close, I couldn't think of anything else. She's beautiful, of course, but it was the way she looked at me. The way she loved me. I felt drawn to her.

I'm not sure what she saw on her phone, but it must have been the last straw. She'd been very highly strung most of the time I'd known her, but at that moment, she started to fall apart. I didn't know how to react. Part of me wanted nothing more than to escape, to avoid dealing with such strong emotions. But when she came towards me, arms open, tears falling… I let her hug me, to hold on to me, and I held her, too.

It felt so strange to hold someone, just to give and receive comfort. Holding her made me feel better – and worse, too, somehow. Less dead inside, but with life comes pain. She made me feel things. Things I had no expectation of, things I didn't deserve. I was a killer. That was what I did. Get in, get it done, get out, get on with the next step. Simple. There was no part of my job description that allowed for holding a woman as she cried.

She didn't cry for very long, but she didn't want to let go of me, either. I tried suggesting that she should get some sleep – she looked exhausted – but she didn't want to leave me. The solution to that was obvious, and we ended up lying on her bed. Fully clothed. She was just so tired. So I let her hold on to me as she slowly fell asleep.

As she was nearing sleep, I caught a trace scent. It was very faint, very old, but familiar. It was me. I had been in that room, only months ago, probably many times. That didn't really surprise me, given what she'd said and done earlier, but it was just one more piece of evidence. One more thing to confuse me.

No matter what had happened before, things were different now. I was different, and I had important things to do. Like, for instance, kill Zhao. Catherine had kept me from it twice, but once she was asleep, I was able to leave.

In one day, she'd made me feel so many things. Feelings were a liability in my line of work, a vulnerability I did not need. I needed to avoid her. She didn't know where I lived or what I would be doing next, so she wouldn't be able to find me. I never needed to see her again. That would be best.

For some reason, though, I can't quite believe it will be that simple.

And I'm not sure I want it to be.

The End


	2. Irritation

Irritation

by ChiefPam

_Previously published separately as a one-shot. Spoilers up until 2x02. My theory of Vincent's POV during "Kidnapped". This is meant to be in canon._

* * *

I'm standing on Catherine's rooftop for the second time, waiting to see if she responds to my note, and I'm beyond distracted. I knew it would be a bad idea to see her again. I knew I shouldn't have shown up on her roof the first time. I definitely shouldn't have taken her to my place. She suggested that I heard the guards and panicked, but that wasn't it. I could have laid her down on the ground for them to find. I could have dropped her off somewhere in the city - just left her safe in her car until she came to and could take herself home. Honestly, I had lots of options, but I chose to bring her back with me. I didn't want to leave her.

She fascinates me, makes me feel things. Which is not safe for either of us, but she's not easily deterred. I want to know more about her, to get to know her. Again. Apparently I liked what I knew, before. It's undeniable that she liked… okay, loved me. I have no concrete proof that I ever even knew her before, but the way she reacts to me … the things she knows about what I am and what I can do ... She knows me.

It was seductive. She trusted me. Even after what I'd done. When she'd first come to, she hadn't known where she was, or who was around. That had scared her a little. Her heartbeat was a little too fast, her breathing just a little too shallow. Even before she woke up, her heartbeat was demanding my attention. But when she heard my voice, she calmed down. And distracted me further as she proceeded to talk herself out of the blindfold and the ropes.

It was… fun, I guess… hearing her tell our story. Letting myself relax and joke around with someone. Not be so serious. Letting myself believe, for a little while, that a normal relationship was possible for me. Not that it had been all that normal, according to her, but she wasn't complaining. Just like she didn't seem to mind my beastly side.

After that kiss the other night, I'd been wanting another one. Craving, more like. Just to see if another kiss would be as sweet as the first one. So I asked about our first kiss. Not subtle, but it didn't have to go anywhere if she didn't want it to. She wanted it to, and it felt just as good. Maybe better.

I wasn't really expecting anything more; she's the one who took it to a higher level. And the sex … well, it was good. Really good. In fact, I'm starting to see what "borderline epic" means. I felt so amazing afterwards - completed, connected, peaceful. Happy.

At least until the alarm went off and I remembered that I had a job to do. A job that Catherine very nearly managed to mess up for me. I'm annoyed that she figured out where I was, and irritated that she felt it necessary to come after me.. But mostly, I'm mad at myself for letting her distract me. I heard her heartbeat, and deserted my assignment. That girl had been safer at the bar with her friends than in the VIP lounge alone. I was able to get back in time and complete the mission, but it was a lot closer than it should have been.

Much as I'd like to blame her, though, this wasn't like the last time, in the lab. Then, I'd needed to save her life. She had been in no danger tonight, and I still deserted my post to go see her. I mean, sure, I was pissed at her for being there, but that shouldn't have affected me like that. I allowed her to interfere.

And now she knows that there are other ... genetically-modified freaks out there. Which is exactly what we were trying to keep under wraps. To make things worse, she's a police officer - and now she knows where I live. She said she wanted to protect me, but there's got to be a limit. How many more things could I screw up in a few short hours? What a mess.

It occurred to me later that I could have killed her, to keep that news from spreading. To contain the damage and limit the total number of casualties. But… no. I just can't. It was unthinkable then and it's unthinkable now.

I'm tempted to cover that up in my report. Not to protect myself from reprimand; I deserve that. But just in case they want to take some sort of action against her. I'll have to see how that plays out. Maybe keep an eye on her. That doesn't have to involve picnics on her roof.

Then again, maybe it could.

* * *

God, I wish I hadn't tried meeting her again. I hurt her. I over-reacted, lost control, and she got hurt. Nothing serious, no broken bones… but it shook her, and I could tell from her eyes that her trust in me was badly damaged. She'd said, several times, "I know that you'd never hurt me" but what did I do? I hurt her. I'll never forgive myself for that.

I was irritated with her, but that's no excuse for what I did. It's not her fault that I couldn't keep myself under better control. I want to apologize but I don't trust myself. I hope she knows it wasn't on purpose. I never wanted to hurt her. Never. Something about her just chips away at my self-control.

I need to stay away from her now, for real. Not even keeping tabs from a distance; that's too dangerous. Focus on the mission, get the job done. That's much more important than any one person. I shouldn't have let her get to me. I'm going to have to assume that she won't even be trying to protect me anymore.

It was just that she'd kept pushing me. Every time something happened, she'd look at me hopefully, asking if I remembered anything. Every time, I'd have to say no and she'd be disappointed. Eventually it started to sink in - she doesn't want me. She wants him, the guy I used to be. The guy I don't remember, in the life I left behind. I finally realized that she's just putting up with me, trying to find him.

That was when I snapped.

On top of everything else, now I'm ashamed about what we did earlier, on the boat. Of what I did, to her. I took advantage of her, and I'd wanted to do it again. I was even willing to dangle the suggestion that maybe one more time would unlock those memories she's searching for so desperately. To find the man she wants - instead of the man she was with.

No more. I have to stay away, for both our sakes.

I knew it wasn't real. I knew it couldn't last. I just didn't think it would hurt so much to lose it..

The End

(until the next episode!)


	3. Trepidation

Trepidation

by ChiefPam

* * *

_Spoilers for up to 2x02 "Kidnapped" and hints of the preview for 2x03. __The prior two chapters were meant to be in canon, this one deviates into emotional wish-fulfillment - written before I saw episode 2x03._

_Warning: There's a ghost of an A-plot in here, but I gloss over it as much as possible. _

* * *

Maybe there is something to this whole "meant to be" thing that Catherine mentioned. I can't seem to stay away from her. Or maybe she can't stay away from me. Or, more likely, we keep running into each other because we're hunting the same targets. Which almost explains why we're tied up back to back lying on the floor in a dark room.

At least the floor is clean. Mostly. From what I saw earlier, this is an office breakroom. The refrigerator isn't running, but then most of the offices in this building are empty. If she hadn't been here, I'd have gotten my job done and been long gone, but… she was. This is the first time I've been near her since that disaster on her rooftop.

Catherine starts to stir, behind me, and moans slightly. "Ohh, what did I have to drink last night?"

"Nothing," She goes very still when she hears my voice. "This isn't a hangover. You were drugged."

A few heartbeats pass, speeding up now that she's awake and aware. Then she starts trying to move.

"Don't bother; we're tied together at the wrists and the ankles. Sorry."

She stops moving and sighs. "Great. So who tied me up this time, since it seems like it wasn't you?"

I almost grin at that; she sounds disappointed. "The guys we were both after, apparently."

"So this isn't your group?" There's a bite in her voice now.

"You know I can't…" I pause, take a deep breath. I can't give details, but... "No, they're not mine."

"You answered a question?" One of her hands turns, inside the rope, coming almost palm to palm with one of mine.

"You already knew the answer." I turn my wrist, covering her palm and spreading my fingers slightly against hers in silent invitation, holding my breath.

Her fingers interlace with mine. "I guess so. So, um, why are we still here?"

"Because we're tied together." And holding hands. I don't even know why she'd want to, after what I did to her, but I'm so grateful that she's not shrinking from my touch.

She laughs. "Right, like ropes can hold you."

"They don't know … about me. I…" I can't go any further. It's starting to get frustrating, the way my conditioning won't let my mouth speak about certain subjects.

She reads between the lines. "So you're here on purpose, then. Can you break the ropes?"

"I can break the ropes," I explain as patiently as I can, smoothing my thumb across the back of her hand. "But they're wrapped around both our wrists. If I pull too hard on the outside ones, the inside ones will tighten, and could hurt you. I didn't dare try it while you were still out."

"Oh." Her tone sharpens. "So now you care about hurting me?"

"Catherine, I…" No point in trying to explain the tangled mess of thoughts swirling around in my head. "Yes."

She doesn't answer, and I feel compelled to go on, ever-so-gently squeezing her hand. "I am… so sorry. Were you… I didn't even check… are you okay?"

I feel her shrug a little. "Shocked. A little bruised." Her voice is thick with sorrow. "I think the biggest hit was my illusions. You've really changed."

"I'm sorry." I pause. "I promise you that will never happen again. The beast…I can usually control it, but I guess maybe strong emotions make it harder."

"You guess?"

"Until I met you, I didn't really have many emotions to speak of."

"Oh, Vincent," she whispers, squeezing my hand briefly.

"It's easier without them." I don't want to talk about that anymore. "Now that you're awake, let's try the ropes."

"Okay."

Working by feel, communicating with and without words, we shift our hands. Whenever I pull on the ropes, though, they tighten around her wrists, and I'm not confident that the rope will break before her wrists do. But as I'm learning to expect, she won't give up, and eventually we figure out how I can protect her - by breaking the inner ropes first. Freeing her before I free myself. A few minutes after that, we're standing looking at each other.

"Are you okay?"

She nods, and I look closely at her face. There are scratches on one cheek. My left hand reaches out towards her face. "What's this?"

Her heart rate changes and I think she might be blushing. "That's from the guy who snuck up behind me and covered my mouth and nose with chloroform. I don't know how he got so close; I was being careful."

"Those are claw marks," I tell her. "He was like me."

"I'm lucky he didn't break my neck, then," she says, brushing off her jeans.

My heart freezes, and my hand falls as the shame from hurting her rushes back. That's what she expects from someone like me.

She looks up, questioning the movement. "What?"

"Nothing. We shouldn't hang around here." I close my eyes, extending my senses, trying to get a feel for where we are relative to the office I need to visit.

"So," she says. "What was your mission tonight?"

It takes me a moment to remember it. That's a bad sign. "I needed to get close enough to find a file."

She cocks an eyebrow at me. "Find a file? Any file in particular?"

"Yes." I can't tell her that, and she needs to be getting out of here.

"Okay, then, how can I help?"

Why is she offering? "What were you here for?"

"I was only trying to do a little old fashioned surveillance. Apparently you have better intel than I do. So why did you let them overpower you?"

I choose my words carefully, repeating myself. "I needed to get close enough to find a file." I want to tell her more, but the words won't come.

She nods. "Right. So come on, let's go do it. Now that I'm inside I might as well have a look, and being with you is more fun than sneaking around on my own."

Now she wants to be with me? After what I did?

She smiles tentatively. "Look, I know I screwed things up for you before, but if I know what you're doing, I can help - or at least keep out of your way. And you don't want me running into a rogue super-soldier all by myself."

I'd prefer that she wasn't here at all, but since she is… It will be easier to protect her if she's with me. "Okay. Follow my lead." I pause, remembering. "Just be ready to run if I, you know, change. It would kill me if I hurt you again."

Her breath hitches as she studies me. "Okay."

I have to break the lock on the door, but once out in the hallway, we make our way quietly towards the target. It's probably a bad sign, but I can't help but notice that she's right; it's more fun to do this with her.

I find the office and we slip inside. She watches the hallway while I go to the computer and find what I need. It only takes a moment to transfer the file to my flash drive. I pocket the drive and remove all traces of my visit from the computer.

When I approach, Catherine glances at me. "Where to now?"

"Back the way we came. I want to make it look like we escaped straight from that room to outside."

"So they don't know you got the file. Okay, smart."

Our exit goes smoothly until we get jumped by a couple of guards just outside the doors. I changed, barely remembering to punch instead of slash. A beast-powered punch however, does the job just as well. First one, then the other goes down and stays down.

I whirl around to check on Catherine, but she's already dispatched the guy that jumped her. She's looking at me, watching me, and I remember that I'm still in beast form. The same beast that pushed her and sent her flying across a rooftop. I just stare at her, waiting for her to start running.

She looks all around and extends an hand towards me. "C'mon Vincent, let's go!"

She's not running. The thought barely has time to register, though; I can hear other guards approaching in the darkness.

She moves towards me, and I grab her and run. That's the fastest way out of here, after all. It's got nothing to do with wanting to hold her close. She just holds on until I get far enough away to stop running. I set her on her feet, transforming back to my human side, watching her warily. "You okay?"

"I'm fine," she affirms, breathlessly. "Thanks." She looks around, probably trying to figure out where we are. "Want to walk me home?"

At this hour of the night? Definitely. We start walking. A few steps along, I say, "I'm sorry if I scared you back there…"

She looks surprised. "You didn't do anything to scare me. And we didn't run into that other beast, which is good." She shakes her head. "Someone as strong as you, but without your concern or self-control…? That's scary."

That's what she meant? He's scary, but I'm not? That's encouraging, isn't it?

"I mean," she continues, "he was obviously told not to hurt me, but he still had his claws out." Her free hand reaches up to touch her scratches. "These are going to be fun to explain." She smiles ruefully. "Tess is going to assume you did it, and then kill me for wanting to be alone with you."

"You still wanted to be alone with me? Even after I…" My heart leaps while my brain tries to insist she didn't mean it.

"Okay, after the other night, I went to see Gabe and tell him you were too dangerous to be running around loose… but I've had some time to think since then." She looks me straight in the eye. "From what I've seen tonight, you have pretty good self-control. When there aren't strong emotions getting in the way. So." She pauses. "Do you still want to be alone with me?"

"Yes." That answer comes quickly, automatically. "But when I'm around you… I have strong emotions. Feelings I don't know how to handle. Up until I saw you last week, I thought I had it all figured out. Who I was, what my mission was… I figured I'd had some kind of life before signing up for this program, but I thought - I was told - that I'd chosen to forget. To be a better soldier." I can't quite resist reaching out to touch her hand with mine.

She accepts it and holds on as we keep walking. "Soldier? Or assassin?"

"Soldier. I can't tell you anything else."

"Why not?"

"Because…" The words clog in my throat. I want to tell her, I do, but the words just won't come out. "I…"

She holds up her free hand. "Never mind. I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't ask."

I can't help smiling. "Okay, I know I don't know you very well, but that… giving up… just doesn't seem like you."

It takes a moment before she replies. "I still want to know. But I can tell that talking about it is difficult for you, and I don't want to push. Sometimes I push too much, push people away." She laughs a little bitterly. "I want to ride to the rescue, to save you like you've saved me… but whatever this is that you're doing, you're not trying to escape it. I don't get that, but I need to respect it, trust you to do the right thing."

"You want to save me?" What a strange thought. My earlier worries come back to me, that she's just putting up with me in order to get to … him. But she's trusting me on this, now. "This isn't all about getting your old boyfriend back?"

"Oh, I'd love to get him back," she says sadly, looking down and away from me, "but I don't think I'm going to."

"So, then…" I look down at our linked hands. I hardly know what I'm trying to say. "If I never get those memories back. Then what?"

She raises her eyes to meet mine. Really seeing me, I think. "Then we could make new ones. If you wanted to."

Part of me really badly wants to. Which reminds me… "I'm sorry what I said about only having one night."

"No, I get it." She squeezes my hand in hers. "That's all you can remember. It's just hard for me to keep that in mind."

"I didn't want it to be a one-night stand," I hear myself blurt out. I can't believe I just said that.

She smiles, slowly. "Good to know."

"I don't know what else it can be, though. Your friends don't want you near me. And I shouldn't do this; to have any personal connections, really."

"Yeah. And I'm not going to be able to hide from them. It was easier, last year. Tess didn't know about you, and JT, well, he came around."

"Came around?" I have to confess I'm curious about the guy who's supposedly my best friend.

"He thought I was going to get you into trouble." She slows down, sighing sadly. "I guess he was right."

I look at her, enjoying the view. "Maybe. But I'm sure it was worth it. And you know, we're probably going to keep running into each other. Maybe we could work together?"

She shakes her head. "They don't trust you at all and I doubt they'd trust me."

"Okay, but maybe you could say you were going undercover? To learn things about me?"

That makes her laugh. "What, pretend to be your girlfriend?"

"No. More like, pretend to them…" I take a quick breath and finish the scary thought. "that you're only pretending to be my girlfriend."

There's a moment of terrifying silence before she finally speaks. "I thought you said we weren't boyfriend and girlfriend."

I shrug, glancing sideways. "That was when I thought you were being crazy possessive." A burst of noise from ahead draws my attention – two people walking out of an all-night diner. "Hey, do your friends know where you are right now?"

The change in subject seems to surprise her, but she answers readily enough. "No, why do you ask?"

"Because I don't have to report in until tomorrow, so … if you want … we could maybe grab a late dinner? Without anyone else knowing?"

Her smile lights up her face. "Without pretending? As I recall, you promised me a sandwich that we didn't get around to, so yeah, that sounds great."

I tug on her hand to bring her to a halt before we reach the pool of light from the restaurant window. She stops, looking up at me curiously. Even after what I did to her, she doesn't show the smallest trace of fear. She's incredible. "Catherine, I can't make any promises. But whatever this is, between us… I so want to explore it. Spend time with you. Get to know you."

She smiles, pushing her hair back from her face. "You know what? I want to get to know you, too. Spend time with you." She shrugs a little, then glances up at me. "Memories or no memories, you're still you, in so many ways. But I like some of the changes, too."

"So…" I need to be sure I'm reading this right. "Boyfriend and girlfriend?"

She moves closer to me. "Yes, please."

That makes me feel… I don't know how to describe it. I don't have much practice with emotions. But I like it. A lot. I lean down to kiss her gently, and she returns the kiss, wrapping her arms aound my neck and playing with my hair. Her scent, her taste, her heartbeat, they surround me, and I never want to leave. This is home.

But I promised her food, and I can tell that she's hungry, so I gently pull back. "Would you go out to dinner with me, Catherine? For the first time?"

She beams. "Yes."

As we walk into the brightly-lit diner, I can't help but think that she might be right. Maybe we are meant to be.

* * *

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	4. Communication

Communication

by ChiefPam

_a/n: Spoilers for 2nd season up to ep 2x02 "Kidnapped" and previews for 2x03. Deviates from canon after the ending of Kidnapped. None of the events from 2x03 "Liar,Liar" have happened yet._

* * *

I look across the table at Vincent, a thousand thoughts swirling around in my head. He looks so different, with the shorter hair, and there's something changed about his posture, too. I miss his ready smile; he tries so hard to be expressionless. Probably 'makes him a better soldier'. He's so guarded, he tries to keep himself distant. I don't like that, but I have seen moments where his real emotions break through – I think. He certainly wasn't distant in bed. Trouble is, he reverted immediately afterwards. Whoever is pulling his strings has trained him well.

He looks up from his plate and catches me staring. "What?"

"Nothing," I say as casually as I can manage. "It's just … you look so different. You act different, too. Which reminds me – that first night, at my apartment? Thanks for letting me hug you."

He drops his eyes. "It wasn't any big deal."

"I realized later, it must have been uncomfortable for you. You know, this woman you'd barely even met, sobbing on your chest. I just want you to know that I appreciate that you did that for me."

Vincent shifts in his chair. "I didn't know what to do."

"You stayed. You held onto me." I smile a little, remembering the very first rooftop conversation we had, so long ago. "You didn't run."

"You didn't either," he replies, looking up at me. "That fight at the club… I killed that guy right in front of you, but it didn't change what you thought of me. I could tell. That's why I left a note, so if you didn't want to talk to me… But it didn't change anything."

"The only thing shocking about that fight was that the other guy had, shall we say, enhancements. I'm a cop, you know; I've seen death and I know what cold-blooded killers – and monsters – look like. You're not either of those."

He looks down at the table, playing with his fork, pushing the remnants of his dinner around the plate. "So that's why you were okay with the idea that I'd killed Zhao?"

I shrug. "It was a little different, granted, but given what he'd done…"

"A little revenge is understandable?" He's still not meeting my eyes.

"Sometimes you can't get justice in a courtroom." Something's not quite right here. What does he mean, I'm okay with the *idea* that he killed Zhao? Does he not want to admit to it in public? Nobody's listening. I already know that he did it, unless Tess was right about that pack of wild dogs, or if… if Vincent's not the only person out there who could maul someone to death. And I just found out that he's not.

This is going to take some thought. I'm going to have to go back over the case file. For instance, the time of death, see if that meshes with when I know he was in my apartment.

Next question – is he dropping hints on purpose?

He looks up to meet my eyes. "No questions?"

"I've already figured out that you don't usually answer direct questions."

"Very good, detective." He smiles, just a little, still looking very intense. "So, don't ask direct questions."

Was that a faint emphasis on the word 'direct'? "I'll remember that. Want any dessert?"

Conversation gets lighter for a while, both of us avoiding serious topics. I wasn't sure what we'd have to discuss, since he can't talk about his job, and I know more about his history than he does, but it works. I don't manage to draw him out much, but as the night goes by he smiles more easily and often.

"So what made you decide to be a cop?"

"Oh, that. Well, when I was nineteen, my mom got shot, and I was almost killed, too."

He frowns. "Crossfire?"

"No, they killed her, I ran, then they came after me, too. But then I was saved by some mysterious sort of beast." I smile up at him. "Nobody could figure it out and they assumed it was my head injury talking."

A corner of his mouth curls upward. "A beast, huh?"

"Yeah." I smile, thinking back. "Took me another nine years to understand it, which is when I discovered Dr. Vincent Keller, who was technically dead, hiding out in a warehouse with his best friend." Awkward topic, I'll move on. "Anyway, after nearly being a victim that night, I never wanted to be vulnerable again, so I started learning self-defense, how to shoot, and changed majors from pre-law to criminal justice."

"Seems to suit you – you're good."

I like that look of honest admiration. Considering he's all wrapped up in the super-soldier identity, I guess that's about the highest compliment he can give me. "You are, too. Better than before."

That pleases him. "Really?"

"Yeah, I think so. And I don't know what your mission is, but I think I'm glad that you have one. The sense of purpose looks good on you. You used to be so insecure sometimes, which was totally understandable and endearing, but this… this self-confidence is very attractive." I grin at him and add, "It's also sexy as hell."

He smiles, a lazy dangerous sexy smile that has me feeling weak in the knees. "So, then, in some ways you like me better than him?"

What? "Him? Him who?"

His smile disappears. "Your old boyfriend. The guy that I'm not."

He's jealous? Of himself? He's not quite so self-confident in some areas, I guess. My heart melts a little. "Vincent, some things have changed, yeah. They don't make you a different person, though. The guy I fell in love with is sitting right here in front of me."

"Oh, Catherine." He gives me that intense look again. If we were somewhere private, I think we'd be halfway naked by now, but since we're in public, we'll have to behave ourselves. I guess on his side it's not really love, not yet, and that's just a tiny bit painful. He's attracted to me, intrigued by me… no more. There's a "pull", he said, and he wants to spend time with me. That will do for now, because I really do believe we'll get back to where we were before – or better. I just need to be patient.

His memories might still come back – and I hope that they do, because it feels lonely to be the only one remembering our significant moments – but the main thing is, he's here, and he wants to be with me.

Before I know it, it's well past midnight, and the waiter's cleared all the plates away, leaving us only with coffee that's gone cold. "I guess I should take you home," Vincent says as I smother another yawn.

"I guess, but this has been great. You're fun to talk to. And yeah, it's nice to be in a restaurant with you, for a change."

"I figured it was about time I bought you dinner, considering." He smiles. "You're fun to talk to, too. But next time, I want to pick a better restaurant."

"Next time?" I like the sound of that.

"Or you could pick." He looks around the all-night diner. "Not that this hasn't been charming."

"I don't really care," I shrug. "It's not the location that makes it special."

"Considering you're perfectly happy with picnics on your roof, I believe you." He insists on paying the tab. That's another issue we'll have to face; who pays for the dates if we're not sponging off JT anymore? What a nice problem to have.

As we leave the diner, I return to a bigger problem. "You know, picking a restaurant is probably going to be the least of our concerns - if we're going to keep this relationship secret from everyone we know."

He nods. "And you've got the hard part. I don't really need to account for my time to anyone, but you've got your friends."

Nice of him to acknowledge that. "Yeah. One of whom – Gabe – is theoretically also my boss. He says he wants to protect you, but he also thinks you might be a contract killer or something, and he doesn't want you running around loose. Let alone going on dates with me."

"How does he know about me?"

"Hmm, that's complicated. Short version – he was a Muirfield project, and I worked with him – at least until he tried to use me as bait so he could kill my boyfriend."

He arches an eyebrow, and I nod. "Actually, I guess in a sense he did kill my old boyfriend. Lucky for me I have a new boyfriend now." I flash him a quick smile. "Still, it's going to be a long time until I trust him again."

"So, wait, Muirfield project?"

"Past-tense. He was kind of like you, before. Don't ask me how it worked, but these days he's merely human."

"It's possible to reverse this?"

I can practically see the wheels turning in his head and I glare at him. "Oh, no, don't even think about it. I like you just the way you are."

He smiles. "Oh, you do, do you?"

"Yes, I do."

"So how are we going to play this?"

"Right. I think you need to make the first move. Come see me, bring flowers or something. They might still be watching my building. Anyway, after you leave I can go to Gabe and say you dropped word of something that we should investigate. He says, how are you going to do that without Vincent knowing? I say, well, I can tag along by going undercover as your girlfriend." I flash a smile at him, teasing. "Even though I really am your girlfriend."

"But he won't know that part."

"Right. He'll probably think it's a stupid plan, but I can deal with that. Then I'll have an excuse to meet up with you, and you can show up on my roof or my fire escape."

"Not just the roof but the fire escape, too?" He grins. "I'm already starting to love your building."

"The fire escape was our place, back when we couldn't go out." Back before he felt comfortable enough to let himself in. Patience, Cat.

"Okay, then. So we can meet without them suspecting too much - and then we can really investigate. Listen, there are some things about my job that I can't say – literally, cannot say them."

"Programming?" That throws a slightly different light on things. Maybe he was trying to drop hints, to get around the blocks.

"Conditioning. Something like that. But I could still use your help - I'll tell you what I can. And you will work some things out all on your own. So that can keep Gabe happy."

"We'll just have to figure it out as we go, I guess." About a block away from my apartment, I pull him to a stop. "You probably shouldn't get too close to the building yet; just in case they're watching."

He stares down at me so seriously. That look is so intent - to anyone else, it would seem threatening, but all I feel is a little breathless and weak at the knees. Even after he snapped the other night - even after he hurt me - I can't feel scared. Not of him. I've spent too much time with him, in too many intense situations. He doesn't remember me, not yet, but he still responds to me in some of the old familiar ways. He dips his head towards me, and I raise my face for his kiss. He keeps it brief, though, and is soon backing away slightly. "Good night, Catherine."

"Good night, Vincent."

"I'll keep watch until you're safe in your apartment, okay?"

"Thanks. See you soon?"

"Yeah, I hope so."

I have to go, I know that, but first I snatch one more quick kiss. Then I turn and walk away. I'm going to need my sleep if I'm going to help Vincent accomplish… whatever his goals are. I wish I knew that. I'm choosing to trust him; I just hope I don't end up regretting it.

* * *

...to be continued…

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	5. Cooperation

Cooperation

by ChiefPam

_Spoilers for 2nd season up to ep 2x03 "Liar, Liar" - I borrow some major A-plot points from the episode, but this is not in canon._

* * *

I hope I don't end up regretting this. In the cold light of day, this plan to work with Catherine is seeming a lot more risky. I don't really know her, not as well as I need to, and she is a cop. She keeps saying she wants to help me, and I believe her, but she and I, we have different goals. Different rules to play by. If she's going to help me - really help me - she's going to have to play by my rules, and they are not standard cop issue.

Then again, she's not a standard cop. And if I'm going to find out who killed Turner, I'm going to want her input.

Her boss, on the other hand, apparently thinks I'm some sort of contract killer. It's more complicated than that, but he's not all that far wrong. She's going to have to lie to him, to everyone, just to protect me. She says she's done it before… I just wish I could remember.

I'm in such a hurry to get back to the boat that I don't even notice Catherine until I'm inside. I stop, frowning. This was not our plan. She holds a finger to her lips briefly, and holds up a note. GABE AND TESS ARE LISTENING; I'LL EXPLAIN LATER.

Pretend theater has started early, I guess. "Hi. How did you get in here?"

"Hi. The door was unlocked. I'm here to... talk about our relationship."

So, she's pretending to work with them against me. I don't know where she's going with this, but she's obviously stressed about something. For now, I'll pretend not to notice. "What about it? Can I get you anything?"

"No, I'm good." She sets the note back onto the table. "Listen… what you did? That can't ever happen again."

"It won't. I swear."

"Okay, then." She's smiling but careful not to let the smile creep into her voice. "Well, I was just out walking, and I wanted to see you. It's been a couple of days." She laughs, sounding a little nervous. "I guess I missed you, and, you know, I am still your girlfriend. Right?"

As I move further into the room, I notice that my computer has been moved. I walk towards it, then shoot Catherine a questioning glance. She nods, and briefly shows me the flash drive she's holding.

So, she may be stealing information, but at least she's not pretending about it. Not with me. "Well, listen, I have to work."

"Oh yeah, of course. Me, too." She steps towards the door, her eyes holding mine uncertainly. I realize she doesn't know how I'm responding to this.

"But, maybe later…" I smile. "I think it's about time I bought you dinner, considering. Tonight?"

She smiles, relaxing. "Yeah. That sounds nice. Pick me up around seven?"

"I'll be there. And Catherine …" This part is absolutely not pretend; I hope she knows that, "Thank you… for giving me a second shot at this. I know I don't deserve it."

"Don't you think I get to decide that?" She blows me a kiss. "I'll see you tonight, okay?"

I smile. "Okay. See you."

She opens the door and lets herself out. Leaving me staring at the closed door, missing her already. Focus, Keller. First thing, investigate the file Turner sent for clues. Then maybe I need to go to the scene of the crime and see what I can reconstruct. I'll catch up with Catherine later.

* * *

I knock on Catherine's apartment door again. Just about the time I realize she's not in there, she comes around the corner, clearly not expecting me. "Vincent! Hi."

"Did I get the time wrong?" And is anyone listening in on us right now?

"Oh, no, I totally forgot."

She's obviously upset about something. I'm starting to get a bad feeling about this. Please don't be lying to me, Catherine. I hand her the flowers. She smiles but it's more polite than heartfelt. "Thanks."

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah. Well, mostly. Actually, no, not really. Just had a tough conversation with Heather, I was walking around trying to think through it. Come on in."

She pulls out her key and lets us into her place. I follow her in, and once the door closes, I reach out to touch her arm. "Catherine, what is it?"

At the touch of my hand, she goes still, and then suddenly she's in my arms. "Hey, it's okay." I don't think she's crying, but she seems to need me anyway. I just hold on.

A few moments later, she stirs, and I give her some space. "Thanks, Vincent. I needed that. I am so tired of lies and pretending. I forgot how much I hated it."

"No pretending here, okay? It's just you and me." At least I think it is. "Right?"

"Yeah, just us." She sighs, and I hold her for a few more moments as the tension drains out of her posture.

I pull back far enough to see her face. "Looks like the scratches are healing well. What did Tess think?"

She laughs, but doesn't sound happy. "I"ve lied to her today, but that, I told her the truth about - they weren't from you. I don't think she wanted to believe me. I told Heather it was a work injury. Which is actually true."

"So what did Heather want to talk about? She's your sister, right?"

"That's what I always thought, yeah."

"Hey, no memories? I'm easily confused right now. What's that mean?"

She pulls out of my arms altogether but grabs one of my hands, and leads me over to sit on her sofa.

"Well, genetically speaking, I'm not related to the guy I always thought was my dad."

"Ouch."

Her voice takes on an angry edge. "And Heather's known this for three months, but she didn't tell me until today."

"You've had a busy three months." I feel irrationally guilty about that. "I'm sorry. That's got to be confusing."

"Yeah, I've been thinking for hours and not getting anywhere."

"Maybe you need a distraction."

She smiles at me. "What did you have in mind? Anything fun?" She leans towards me.

I give her a kiss. "Nothing that fun. So what was with that scene on my boat this morning?" The question amuses me, and I think it does her, too.

She smiles, and quotes me from last night. "I needed to get close enough to find a file. We got JT working on it, and it's to do with a chain of art galleries."

"That's what I thought," I comment, trying to decide how much I should say - or even how much I can say. "And what does Friday at Five mean?"

"Apparently it's a painting, and it's up for sale tonight. What does this have to do with your mission?"

I shake my head. "No direct questions, remember?"

She rolls her eyes. "Right. Sorry. I'll try to stick to the weather and current events."

"You might want to check out the gallery owner," I tell her, giving her the most detail I can manage. She's a cop, she'll pick up the clues. I hope. "So when's the sale?"

"Tonight at 9, downtown, and I'm told it will be a very nice party. I hope you have a good suit."

"I hope you have a beautiful dress. Something you can, um, work in, though."

She smiles. "Gorgeous, yet practical? I'll have to check my closet. Any other tips?"

I consider that. I find myself wanting to talk to her about this mysterious list that my name might or might not be on, but that's too closely tied to my mission. I can tell I won't be able to say anything. I give up the struggle for now. "No. That should be enough."

She raises an eyebrow but doesn't challenge me. "O-kay. Anyway, we both need to change, apparently, so…"

We both stand. "Yeah, I'll be going. Sorry that we can't do dinner."

She shrugs. "Duty calls. I'm not feeling that hungry anyway."

I pull her close, getting a little more confident about going in for kisses. She responds immediately and it's hard to back away. "Later. I promise."

She smiles. "I'll hold you to that."

* * *

It feels good to sit on her fire escape again, even if it's only to wait for her to get home from work. Her job has a lot more paperwork than mine does, so this could take awhile, but in the meantime, I don't mind the chance to think.

Earlier today, it had briefly occurred to me that I should maybe protect Catherine by keeping her away from the art gallery, away from Sebastian. Send her on a wild goose chase somewhere across the city. I just hate the idea of her getting hurt, and I was scared I wouldn't be able to protect her.

I'm really glad I didn't do that. She was more than helpful tonight - she saved the day, really. I hate to admit it, but I would have failed without her. She got the target out of the crowd, and protected him from Sebastian while I was knocked out cold on the floor.

I think it was her heartbeat that got me back up; I could hear it thumping loud and knew she needed me, that she was fighting for her life. I don't think I've ever moved that fast before, and I was only barely in time. I'm scared all over again, thinking how close she was to falling off that elevator car to her death.

She was reaching for me, trusting that I would save her. Maybe it was the close call, the terror of the moment, but that experience triggered memories. When I pulled her towards me and held her close, I never wanted to let go. But we both had jobs to do.

It feels so good to remember her. To have some context, no matter how sketchy, to what she's been telling me. Just to know for certain that she's been telling the truth. I mean, I believed her but now it's so much more real. I'm looking forward to seeing her expression when she realizes I remember some things. I just hope it's not followed by disappointment that I don't remember everything.

I hear voices inside the apartment, and listen as Catherine reconciles with her sister. She's lucky to have family, no matter how imperfect. I don't think I have anyone. At least, not anyone that I'm in contact with; JT or Catherine would probably have mentioned it.

Finally, she comes into her room, and I can tell when she spots me by the hitch in her breath and the change in her heart rate. She crosses the room, opens the window, and climbs out to sit next to me. "Nothing wrong with your short-term memory, I see," she says teasingly.

I lean in, enjoying the freedom to give her kisses. When my lips are free again, I ask "Short-term?"

"Yeah, we talked about the fire escape last night. You obviously remembered." Right, she had mentioned it.

"No, actually, I remembered it from last year, not last night."

"Really?" She looks so hopeful, but she's trying to hide it.

"When I was reaching for you, on top of the elevator - I had a couple of quick flashes."

"Like what?"

"It's not much," I caution her. "But I remember something about dragging you out of the way of a train. It was dark, and it was in a tunnel, I think?"

"It was a subway train," she confirms, her face lighting up. "You saved my life twice in ten minutes."

"You do live dangerously, don't you?" I smile.

"Long story. You ran to my rescue on the platform, but then disappeared. I chased after you." She grins and gives me a gentle shoulder-bump. "By the way? Yes, I do that a lot, get used to it."

That makes me laugh.

"Anyway," she continues, "the train was coming, I was running, and then suddenly I was against the tunnel wall, and you were between me and the train. It seemed to take forever to go past us. But then when it did, I turned around." She laughs "You were terrified. I'd met you before as a normal guy, but that was when I first realized that the guy and the beast were the same person."

I nod. "That would be terrifying, yes."

"For you it was. I was just excited to solve the mystery. What else do you remember?"

I'm enjoying her enjoyment. "Okay, there was another time. We were in the woods, you were running. You had braids, and it was so cold I could see your breath."

"That is when we first met, over ten years ago."

"I didn't talk to you, then?"

"Nope, just got rid of the guys were were going to shoot me, and then you disappeared. I didn't see you again for nine years. Although apparently, you kept checking in on me, a couple of times a year. It was weird; you knew all these things about me and I didn't know anything about you."

I arch an eyebrow at her. "Yeah, I know how that feels."

She grins. "I guess you do. Anything else?"

I hesitate, not wanting to see that disappointment in her eyes, but I have to answer. "Just a flash of us sitting here, talking. Nothing else. I'm sorry it's not more."

"No, don't be sorry, this is great!" Her smile doesn't falter. "You remember me."

"I'm glad I do. And now, I know for sure I can trust you. You know, you kept saying that I could, and I thought I probably could, but I just wasn't sure."

"I guess for a top-secret lone-wolf super-soldier, paranoia is a virtue."

I smile. "Yeah, maybe. But it's better to have a trustworthy partner."

"Just remember that, next time I ask direct questions." Her tone is light, teasing, but I suspect she's dead serious about that.

"I will." I hope she's right, that it'll get easier to talk to her about my work, my boss, and especially the mysterious list… That would be very good. But that's not what I want to think about right now.

"Meanwhile," she drawls, "Is there anywhere you need to be, right now?"

"Nope."

She leans closer to me, love and desire clear in her eyes. "Want to come inside?"

"Are you sure, Catherine? I may remember some things, but I'm still not … your old boyfriend, the one that loved you."

Her gaze doesn't falter. "Do you care about me? Right now?"

"Very much, yes."

"Then that's going to be good enough. Well, on one condition."

I frown.

She smiles sweetly. "Do you think we could manage to spend a whole night together, not just a few minutes or a few hours?"

"There is *nothing* I would like better."

She brushes my lips with hers and then retreats. "Good. Told you I didn't want to be a one-night stand."

"Told you I didn't want you to be." I reach out to pull her closer.

She cups my cheek. "Then why are we still out here and not in there?"

I reach for her and kiss her hungrily. At this rate, we won't be out here for very much longer at all.

Everything else can wait.

The End

* * *

_So what did you think? Review please :)_

_I really liked "Liar, Liar" but I also like warm and fuzzy feelings, so I thought I'd see if I could change a few things, and see what else flowed from that. These two haven't got all their issues straightened out yet, though. I'll have to see what the next episodes are like; I may continue this series, just borrowing the episode A-plots as I go, but re-working the relationship bits to make me happier._

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	6. Gratitude

A/N - Spoilers for Ep 02x05 "Reunion". I'm doing NaNoWriMo, which means writing 50,000 words of a novel within the month of November, so I should be working on that and not fanfic, but this little ficlet just demanded to be written. I didn't have anything that I needed to add to "Hothead" but this one could have used a little extra, so here's my version. :)

* * *

Gratitude

by ChiefPam

* * *

After leaving Catherine at her ruined reunion, I head for JT's place. He says its my place, too, but that doesn't feel real, yet. It was fun watching the game with him, though. My job – my mission – doesn't allow for having fun, for relaxing. At least not according to my mysterious boss. It's all training, tracking, and killing. Focused. But lately… that's not enough.

It's like what I said to Zac, earlier – Muirfield made us into these beasts, but we're still men. Aren't we? At least I am. Which ought to mean something.

I reach the entrance of the gentleman's club and knock on the door. There's a brief scurry of movements inside. Moments later, I heard JT's voice. "Who is it?"

"It's me. You know, for all the vid screens you've got going in there, you ought to put a camera out here."

He opens the door, smiling at me. He's still a little nervous around me, and I can't blame him for that. I did kind of threaten to break his neck once. He's getting used to me again, I think.

"Yeah, we talked about it, but never got around to it. C'mon in. What's up? Is Cat okay?"

I walk inside. "Yeah, she's good. Zac went after her, but I stopped him."

He looks at me. "Stopped?" he asks, "as in … *stopped*, stopped?"

"I killed him," I admit. "I didn't want to, but he wouldn't listen, and it was the only way to protect Catherine."

He sort of drifts to a stop by the bar. "I'm sorry, man. I know you liked the idea of having a friend."

"Yeah, I guess so. We had a lot in common. But hey, you're my friend, too, right?"

JT smiles widely. "Yeah, I am."

"I may not remember you, exactly, but I'm pretty sure I can trust you. And you were right, earlier. I thought I could talk to Zac, but I couldn't – you can't reason with a beast."

"I didn't mean that the way it came out," JT says.

"It made me think, though. Why am I different? These other beasts that I've been hunting – they needed to be stopped, because they were killing people. But are they on the list because of that? Or are they there just because Muirfield victimized them? I mean, I've killed people, JT. What makes me different?"

"Vincent, you have a conscience. You know right from wrong, and you actually care. You always try to do the right thing. It's just sometimes the right thing is pretty hard to figure out. You use your strength and abilities to protect people. Over and over. You'd sacrifice yourself to protect people you care about."

"I would?"

"I've seen you do it," JT affirms. His earlier nervousness is gone; he absolutely believes what he's telling me. Wow. "You tried turning yourself in to Muirfield once, to get them to leave Cat alone. We found you and stopped you, but you tried. And remember when we first brought you here? And I was trying to stop you from leaving?"

Yeah, I remember. "Sorry about that."

"Don't be. You could have killed me, bro. I was kind of terrified that you would, 'cause you were this intense super soldier who didn't know me from a hole in the ground. But you didn't hurt me."

"JT, I tranked you."

"And that wasn't fun. But you didn't rip me limb from limb, or break my neck, or cause any permanent damage. You just neutralized me for a little while. What do you think Zac would have done in those circumstances?"

He's right. Zac had been willing to kill Catherine, just to find me. I'd tried to ignore that earlier, because he was my friend, and she wasn't actually hurt, but that should have bothered me more. I guess I hadn't wanted to believe that he was serious about his threat, but considering what happened tonight... "I think he'd have killed anyone holding a gun on him."

"But you didn't. So that's how you're different."

I consider that. "Yeah, you know, I was thinking earlier, that I could have ended up like Zac, if I hadn't had Catherine. But it was you, too, wasn't it?"

"How do you mean?"

"Zac spent ten years off the grid, alone. He didn't have anyone to talk to, anyone to help him out or keep him sane. I was a lot luckier. I had you."

I think that embarrasses him. "Well, I tried, anyway. And I'm sure my life would have been a lot lonelier without a roommate. But you knew Cat long before she knew you; I think checking in on her helped you, too."

"Yeah, she told me." I don't think it would have been so easy to keep tabs on her if I hadn't had a safe hideout, but JT's uncomfortable enough about this conversation already, so I'll let it go for now.

"So, earlier, you mentioned a list," JT says, tentatively. "Am I allowed to ask about that?"

"You can ask." I shrug. "I'm not allowed to answer. Not unless you need to know. But what the heck, I need to talk to somebody about it, and I trust you. So that means you need to know. The guy that gives me these missions?"

"Yeah?"

"I don't know exactly who he is. He's got this voice distortion effect on the phone and I never see him in person."

"He was working with Tucker, though, right? Tucker was FBI."

"Yeah. When I was investigating Tucker's death, the beast that killed him said something about he was going to strike my name off the list before I could strike out his. And my boss confirmed it, later. There's a list of Muirfield experiments, beasts. He said my name's not on it."

"But you're not so sure."

"Not really, no. He says once I'm done cleaning up the mess, working my way down the list, I can go back to my life, but…"

"I can see where you'd be worried. If he's exterminating beasts, why leave you running around loose?"

"You said I was different."

"Oh, you are, buddy. Anybody who wants to kill you is going to have to go through me. Which will probably not slow them down much at all, but still."

I smile at him. "Thanks."

"But your mysterious boss might not understand that."

"I guess that's what I'm worried about, yeah. And maybe he's got a point… I'm dangerous."

"Damn straight you are."

I cock an eyebrow at him. "That's not what I expected you to say."

He laughs. "So you're dangerous. Doesn't mean the city would be better off without you. Vincent, you're dangerous to the bad guys. So is Cat, and Tess. I personally feel very safe when I'm around you guys." He looks sideways for a second. "Okay, maybe not Tess."

"Yeah, she kind of makes me nervous sometimes, too. I don't think she likes me that much."

JT shrugs. "She's protective of Cat. Can't blame her for that. I didn't used to like Cat very much, when I thought she was gonna get you in trouble."

"She did mention that." A phrase pops into my head. "President of the stay away from Catherine club?"

He grins. "That was me. Hey, wait, did you just remember that?"

"Yeah, I guess so." I smile at him, feeling like another piece of my past is settling into place. "My memories are there, JT. I'm getting them back. I'm starting to remember Catherine, and I'm starting to remember you, too."

"That'd be good. I've missed you, man."

I think of how fun it was to watch the game with him, how he's been supporting me. I've been busy trying to figure out how to find my way back to Catherine, but now I realize that she's not the only essential piece of my past. "Me too, JT. Me, too."

He grins. "So, let's see if you remember anything on the X-Box. Maybe if you don't, I can actually beat you for once."

I laugh. "Think so, huh? Challenge accepted." My life is starting to come back together – I'm starting to find myself. It feels great. Tonight, I can't lose.

The End

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